Do you have a genuine bad movie experience? Is there a film that the world needs to know about? If so, then why not contribute the benefits of your experience to the Bad Movie Mecca.
To become a Bad Movie Crusader, simply submit your review - in plain text or basic HTML format, please, as it makes things much easier for me - to The Prophet. Please present your review in the basic format given below, and be sure to let me know if you do not want your real name to appear on the site; after all, mine doesn't. Once your review is formatted to html it will be uploaded to the site, and your name - or alias - will be added to the list of Bad Movie Crusaders.
If you have any comments of criticisms about the system, I'll be glad to hear them. If you have criticisms about the movies reviewed, I'm not really interested. If there is any way in which I can accept a film as bad, then I will include it, however much I may like the film. You will understand then that the fact that you like a film will have no effect on my decision to include it here.
If you want to comment on an existing review, or to present a rival review, please feel free, and if I think it is interesting enough, I'll add those to the relevant page. Note however that no review will be countenanced that concludes that a film is really good. This is a bad movie review, and if you want to make a counterpoint, then it must be on the basis of other reasons that the film is bad (see for example, the Dungeons & Dragons Special). Comments may however be appended to any point held to be deeply unfair.
A film can only be included in the Bad Movie Mecca Database if it is bad. 'Bad' in this case is a largely subjective matter, but if The Prophet accepts that a film is, in some way, bad, then in it can go. Things which make a movie bad include, but are not limited to:
Laughable dialogue;
Silly costumes;
Bad, or simply unnecessary, musical numbers;
Sets that wobble;
Wooden acting;
Ham acting;
Excessive use of gratuitous eye candy of any stripe;
Incomprehensible plots;
Jar-Jar Binks.
An important note: I do not in fact dislike the majority of the films contained in the BMMD. Some of them I will doubtless enjoy for many years to come, but this doesn't mean that I think they are good films.
Reviews follow a simple layout. Formatting, images and links will be added by the Prophet when converting the file to html.
[Poster or video cover - if available]
"Tagline"
Director
Starring [first billed anyway; 'star' may well be too strong a term]
Bad Movie Mecca Keywords: See below. This section is optional.
Brief Synopsis [may contain plot spoilers and sarcasm; usually not headered]
What's wrong with it? [Why is it bad?]
What's right with it? [Is there any reason to show mercy?]
How bad is it really? [On a visceral level?]
Best bit (if such there is)? [What stands out in the memory?]
What's up with...? [any observations]
Ratings: [each out of 20]
Production values [is it at least well made - 0 - or did someone
seemingly put it together in their sleep -20]
Dialogue and performances [clear and well performed - 0 - or mangled and
mumbled - 20]
Plot and execution [powerful and internally consistent - 0 - or an excuse for the
fights and the shagging - 20]
Randomness [makes perfect sense - 0 - or they shot who in the what now? -
20]
Waste of potential [as good as youcould hopefor - 0 - or an unforgiveable
let-down - 20]
Overall: [100% = complete shite.]
The keywords provide a rough guide to a movie's style and content. It will be expanding as I think of more things to go in, and ultimately may evolve into a function to search by keyword.
So bad it's good
So bad it hurts
Boring
Senseless waste of solid potential
Incomprehensible
Commercial
Shameless Bandwagon-Jumping
Unecessary pathos and/or angst
Gratuitous sex/sexuality
Egregious violence and/or gore
Cruel and unusual pop culture
Pitiful attempts at cool
Uncalled for post-modernism
Laughable racial and/or sexual stereotypes
Bad singing
Hip soundtrack
Pumping techno
Unacceptable pretentions
Huge Lizard
Bad Movie Superstar
Gratuitous Slow-motion